Standing on the Sideline

Let's be honest, no one wants to stand on the sidelines on a day they want to be participating, but this is where I found myself for the PBR 1/2 Marathon in January 2014.  I was faced with a new choice: 1) Stay at home and wallow in self pity, or 2) Go out to the race as a volunteer.  I choose to volunteer. 
I had never been on this side of the race course.  It was strange not to line up.  It was difficult to smile and watch everyone stretch and plan.  It was freighting, hoping to not mess up being supportive.

I was tasked with the 1/2 marathon turn around point.  I would be out in the middle of no where, seriously, no where!  Due to race weather being far from ideal- there was cold sideways rain, gusting winds, sand blasting, flooding, and lighting- I would out in the middle of no where ALONE!  Well, there was a nice officer who watched me frolic in the monsoon- he really was a nice guy!  
Now you may be thinking "why"- you guys ask that question a lot. I should say I was out there for the runners, and in a moment this would be the reason I was out there, but in these first minutes I was out there for me.  I was out there because I needed to be there.  I needed to feel a part of a community that I have come to love and adore.  I needed to begin healing my spirit, because more than my foot was broken.  
My healing began not when I clicked on the clock, no it would take a little longer.  About 40 minutes longer in fact.  That's when my healing started, in the moment I saw the first runners.  There I was standing in the sideways rain, cold, and alone, when out from the horizon came purpose.  I was suddenly no longer alone. I suddenly had a purpose- I was there to make sure each person knew they had achieved making it to the point now it was time to turn back and head for the finish line. The runners came in waves, much like the rain.  They showed up with smiles, with grimaces, with heavy breathing, with joy for the opportunity to turn around, and with thanks.  I was there to cheer them on.  I was there standing in the same rain, same wind, for them, letting them know I believed they could make it back, because they made it here.  
I know for many of you this will sound foolish; how could it mean so much to stand there?  It made me appreciate more than ever those who stand there for me. Those who stand there till the last runner passes by.  Those who smile and cheer and make us laugh.  Those who spend there day to keep us safe.  
I have always been one to say thank you on the course, but now it has a different meaning.  Not just thank you for being here, but thank you for believing in every runner. 
That day after the last runner had gone by I packed up and drove slowly back to the finish line.  I screamed from my jeep words of encouragement.  I handed in my clock and marched to the final turn to cheer the runners in to the finish, to let them know that when I said they could make it I believed it.
To see them smile at mile 13 was a gift.  Especially to see Patrick smile at mile 13.  To be there for him along the way was the greatest gift, because I know I would not be here doing this without him.
Volunteering for this event helped me to be a better participant and a better person. 

Side Note as to maybe why this matters so much to me:  In July 2013, I was asked by my nephew, "Why do you say that?" After saying thank you to a police officer on a race course, for about the 10th time that day.  My answer to him was two fold, first because of his and others services to our community and our country; second because he came out on this day to keep us safe and to be here for us.